We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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