I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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