Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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