This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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