Who wears a wallet chain?!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
