I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize