would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize