She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
