I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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