Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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