Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize