Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
