I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
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Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize