I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
