I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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