Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
