it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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