Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
