I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
