What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
