we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
