i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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