do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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