I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
