i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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