If i come over, it means nothing
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
