me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
