walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
