dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
