I love black thongs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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