my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
