my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
