pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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