So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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