these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
