i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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