I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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