she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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