just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
