Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
