Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
