Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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