So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
