the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
