Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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