He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
