addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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