What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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