i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
