Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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