i was born a porn star she said
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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