and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
