can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
