HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
