Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
