So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
