): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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