The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
no you cant smoke seaweed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
