I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
