A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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